xf_is_love | Requiem: Wallpapers, Icons, Fic and Picspam

Requiem is one of, if not my favorite X-Files episode. I chose it to show some love for. I know some people are probably thinking, "Seriously, Requiem?" but this episode to me is so wonderfully written. Is it painful? Without a doubt. Is it hearbreaking? It still makes me bawl uncontrollably sometimes. No matter how many times I see it, I never fail to yell to Mulder, "Don't do it. Back away from the light." But, to me the heart of it is coming the ultimate show of a perfect love story seven years in the making. Mulder's dedication and love for Scully shows so much in his want for their to be an end for Scully and ultimately trying to keep her safe by not taking her to Oregon with him. Even the stuff with Billy Miles, Krycek, and The Smoking Man is so perfectly written. It wraps up so much of all of that and perfectly done in my opinion. This episode is without a doubt Beautifully Devastating.

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Title: It Can't be True

Author:

tanya_sharon
Words: 1808
Pairing: Mulder/Scully Romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Scully's thoughts in the hospital during Requiem. From finding out about Mulder's disappearance and her pregnancy. Also, looks back on saying goodbye. I suck at summaries. This is my first X-files fic.
Spoilers: Big ones for Requiem, of course. Some mentions of Per Manum, Trust No One, Elegy, Milennium, Cancer Arc

This cannot be happening. I have found myself saying that more and more lately, even in the last few months. I just cannot believe what the Gunmen were just here and told me. Byers could barely meet my eyes, and Frohike finally broke the news to me. Mulder was gone. My first thought was, Mulder's not gone. He just ditched Skinner. That's what he does. He gets really passionate and just disappeared. I knew I was just trying to fool myself. It's been years since I admitted in Karen Kosseff's office how much i truly rely on him. It wasn't until just recently that I realized just how much. Things have been changing between us for a while, a lot longer then either of us was ready to admit. The chaste kiss that we shared on New Year's Eve was just the start. We both knew it. It wasn't until after we tried to have a baby, that I let him truly comfort me. I always have been tough. Even as a military brat, I was tough. You have to be tough when you have two brothers, especially an older brother like Bill. Then when I joined the FBI, it only got worse. I had to be tough. But, something in Mulder made it okay sometimes to let him break through my wall. It's just not true. There's no way what the Gunmen said is true. He's perfectly fine and he'll be back. I want back the safety and comfort that we have shared for so brief a time. I need my partner to come through that door, my best friend to come through that door, and my soulmate to come through that door. I always used to laugh at people who said things like that It sounds just so emotional, corny, and just not something that Special Agent Dana Scully would even think. But, it's true. Mulder is my soulmate. Not in a cheesy way, but in a way that fits the two agents who only have trusted each other for so long. I should have known that it was inevitable that some day Mulder and I would finally stop lying and admit it to not only ourselves, but to each other too. I just hope this is all a simple flu. I don't have the time to get sick . I need to find Mulder and tell him exactly what I think about him not only disallowing me to go to Oregon with him but then ditching Skinner when he promised me he wouldn't do that.

I snap out of my thoughts and the sound of a doctor coming in the room. "Dr. Scully, we have the first set of your test results back and there's some developments that are surprising due to your medical history."

The Cancer?  Please not the cancer. I don't have time for that. I have to get out there and find him.

"It can't be that bad, can it? I really have a busy schedule and don't have the time to be in her much longer. I'm an FBI agent and my job can be long hours. As a doctor, I can already tell it's nothing major so whatever you are seeing cannot be correct."

"We ran these tests several times, and what I have her is conclusive. It comes as huge shock to us, especially after we consulted with Dr. Parenti and received your medical records."

I give him a look and interrupt, "Dr. Parenti?  Why would you consult with a doctor that I saw for my fertility treatments several months ago."

"You have to disclose all of your information, and these tests could have caused problems if we did not get the results of the CBC back before conducting any other tests. Dr. Scully, you're pregnant."

I blink a few times and go to open my mouth, but no words come out.

"Are you alright, Dr. Scully?  Did you hear what I said?"

I nod and feel tears run down my face, unable to believe the news that I had not dared to hope for, the miracle that I was afraid to believe in. "How is it possible?  I am unable to have children. I want a second opinion."

"I understand that, but we ran the tests three times already. The vertigo and sickness you have been feeling is morning sickness. We do have some tests we would like to run before we can even think about releasing you." He leaves the room and I am left to try to put this all together. I realized I needed Mulder back now, more than ever. How was I to tell him that he was going to be a father?  He had been so worried when we said goodbye last night when he left for the airport.
--

I had gone back to his apartment with him after we left work. Of course, we took separate cars. Had to keep up the disguise of it being just professional for us. I waited the few minutes before going up, so that it didn't look suspicious, but then scolded myself. It's not a big deal to show up at Mulder's door. I slowly, tortously made my way to Mulder's door. I did not know why it was taking so long. He had left town without me before. I finally knocked and heard his footstep, slowly approach the door. He opened it and smiled.

"I was wondering what was taking you so long. You didn't have to come by. I'm just packing."

"I just thought you might need to tell me about cases we have going on. You know, since I'm going to be alone in the office and all that for a few days."

"Scully, I'm not going to be gone that long. I just have to go up there and see if what Krycek is saying is really true or just another smokescreen orchestrated by him and that chain smoking son of a bitch."   I look at him, understanding.

"I want you to have something." I take off my necklace. "You told me after my abduction that you had the strength of my beliefs. I want you to have that again, even if you don't need me anymore.

"Hey, why do you think I don't need you?  Did I ever say that?" He lifts my chin and smiles. "I need you now more than I ever have in my entire life. You know why."

"Because I do most of the paperwork? " I asked with a smile.

"Yeah that must be it." He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. "You know, I don't say it alot because that's just not how we are. But, I will say it again, you are my constant and my touchtone. I cannot risk losing you. I need you. I love you."

I smile and pull him to me in deep kiss. I felt him respond and tease my lips with his tongue, until i tangled it with my own. He pulled me closer to him and walked me into his bedroom, slowly undressing me the whole time. He kissed down my body in a slow, torturous manner. The last few months had taught him exactly what I wanted and needed. When we finally made love, we both clung to each other physically and emotionally.

Afterwards, I put my head on his chest. He kissed the top of my head. "Well, that was nice."

I raised my head and arched my eyebrow. "Nice Mulder? Really?"

"Are you okay, Scully?  I know you haven't been feeling well. I shouldn't have done that.."

"Mulder, I'm fine."  He looked at me, more worried. "I promise, i really am fine. I just hate that you are going without me. I know you said it's not worth it, but to me it is."

"Scully, it is not worth losing anymore. But this is worth it. I told you earlier and I meant it. "I can't risk losing you. You are too important to me. This is too important to me. Please just do this for me without arguing this one time."

I reached over to his nightstand, where I had left my necklace. "Here, sit up." He groans and sits up with me, and I put it around his neck.

"See, I do have you with me, Scully." I yawn and we lay back down. "Are you tired?"

"Yeah, it's been a long few days." He holds me back in his arms. "Then, let's sleep for a while." I didn't want to fall asleep, not willing to lose a single minute before he left. Next thing I knew, I heard him moving around in the bathroom. I sit up, glad he was still there. "Mulder?"

He comes out, with his toothbrush in his mouth and his hair looking like he just ran his fingers through it to get it back into place after earlier.   I got dressed again, and he finished. "So, when will Skinner be here?"

"About fifteen minutes or so. Scully, I really need to know that you feel okay. I have to do this but know that if you need me, I will be here for you in a minute."  I look down, fighting back tears unable to really understand why I was so afraid.

"Mulder, I am fine..I promise you, I really am. I am more worried about you then me. You'll be careful, right?"

"When am I not?" He leans down and kisses me more thoroughly and passionate then I have ever been kissed in my life when I hear a knock.

"Mulder, I'll get that. Finish getting ready." I open the door, and see Skinner.

"Agent Scully, what are you doing here?"

"Just making sure Mulder had fish food. I always feed his fish when he's out of town."  Mulder comes out with his bag over his shoulder and I notice Skinner look down at my bare feet.

"I'll see you when I get back, Scully. Make sure you feed my fish."

"Always."

--
I hadn't realized I had been so lost in remembering until Skinner came in. The look on his face forced me to admit that it was what I had feared all along. What I was so slow to believe for all those years had happened, and Mulder was gone. I wonder if the look Skinner had when I told him I was pregnant was anywhere near the look I had when the doctor told me. Mulder needs to come home so he can gloat that his partner and his boss both acknowledged that there really were UFO's and aliens. Skinner had seen it. Mulder, stay safe. I need to tell you that you were right to tell me to never give up on a miracle. I will find you, I have to.

SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: You're under evaluation. There has to be a point when we say no.
MULDER: You can't really compare what we do to other departments in the Bureau.
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: Right. This business with aliens.
MULDER: Well, there's more to it than that.
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: But, at the end of the day you'd say aliens are your real focus.
MULDER: That's the reason I got started, yeah.
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: Investigating your sister's abduction and the government conspiracy around it. Both of which have been resolved, correct?
MULDER: Nothing has been resolved exactly.
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: In this case report here it's concluded your sister is dead as well as the men who took her. This is your handwriting here on the report, Agent Mulder?
MULDER: Yeah.
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: So, what exactly is left to investigate?

SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: I see the money bleed out, but it just doesn't seem to make the results of your work any better. So many of the cases you investigate are left unexplained. Makes it hard to justify the expense.
SCULLY: So much of the work that we do cannot be measured in standard terms.
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: How would you measure it?
SCULLY: We open doors with the X-Files, which lead to other doors.
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: Doors leading to... "A conspiracy of men who cooperated with alien beings to create human alien hybrids." So we could all become slaves of an alien invasion.
SCULLY: I believe that there was once a conspiracy. I believe I was taken by men who subjected me to medical tests, which gave me cancer and left me barren.
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: But you don't believe in aliens?
SCULLY: I've seen things that I cannot deny.

SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: Cost/benefit analysis. But, if you want the truth I really don't care one way or the other. You mostly record bizarre facts on bizarre cases. In other words, information gathering. Something, it seems to me you can easily do on the Internet.
MULDER: I can't do my job from an office, I promise you.
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: Nowadays, the most advanced space exploration is done sitting in an office, Agent Mulder. Why? It's just too damn expensive putting men in outer space.
MULDER: I'm not looking in outer space.
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: Bringing us to the point. If you spend so much time and money looking for aliens, responsibly, you should narrow your search.
MULDER: To where?
SPECIAL AGENT CHESTY SHORT: Wherever they are. It's not unreasonable. It's just a matter of reducing your vision.

MULDER: I think I'm in big trouble.
SCULLY: Oh, Mulder, how many times have they tried to shut us down?
MULDER: Yeah, but I never actually assaulted an auditor before.
SCULLY: Did you hurt him?
MULDER: I reduced his vision a little bit.
--
MULDER: More alien abductions, Scully.
SCULLY: I don't know how we could possibly justify the expense.
MULDER: We'd probably turn up nothing.
SCULLY: Let's go waste some money.

CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: I was worried about you, Alex.
KRYCEK: Cut the crap, old man.
CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: I heard about your incarceration.
KRYCEK: (angrily) You had me thrown in that hellhole.
CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: For trying to sell something that was mine, was it not? I hope we can all move forward... Put the past behind us. We have a... singular opportunity now.
KRYCEK: A singular opportunity?
CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: There's been a crash in Oregon. An alien ship has collided with a military aircraft. Recovery is all-important. It's Roswell and Corona all over again-- 50 years later. It's our chance to rebuild the project. MARITA COVARRUBIAS: How do you know someone hasn't already recovered it?
CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: It's never quite so easy

BILLY MILES: Agent Mulder and Agent Scully.
MULDER: Look who's wearing a badge.
BILLY MILES: I've never thought of myself as a cop but it's been three years now. My dad got them to fudge the psych qualifications.
SCULLY: You're married, Billy.
BILLY MILES: Uh, divorced. I live back with my dad now.
MULDER: You've never, um... have you ever been able to get over the abductions?
BILLY MILES: Well, I have. But, um, people haven't. No one really believes it. My dad still denies it ever happened-- that any one of us was taken.
---
MULDER: Deja vu all over again.
DETECTIVE MILES: That was there already in case you're wondering at all about it.
SCULLY: I watched Agent Mulder paint that there seven years ago.
DETECTIVE MILES: What for?
MULDER: To mark an anomalous electrical disturbance-- the kind where time gets bent or goes missing or where your car loses power and dies in the middle of the road.

TERESA HOESE: His experiences were a lot more terrifying than mine. He was taken many times and tested. I have extensive medical records on him and photos of his scars. I'll get you the files.
SCULLY: What do you see? What do you see? Once upon a time there was a little baby.

MULDER: It's not worth it, Scully.
SCULLY: What?
MULDER: I want you to go home.
SCULLY: Oh, Mulder, I'm going to be fine.
MULDER: No, I've been thinking about it. Looking at you tonight, holding that baby... knowing everything that's been taken away from you. A chance for motherhood and your health and that baby. I think that... I don't know, maybe they're right.
SCULLY: Who's right?
MULDER: The FBI. Maybe what they say is true, though for all the wrong reasons. It's the personal costs that are too high. There so much more you need to do with your life. There's so much more than this. There has to be an end, Scully.

KRYCEK: In spite of a great deal of effort no one seems to be able to find this UFO of yours.
CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: Of course they can't.
KRYCEK: You know why? 'Cause it's not here.
CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: It's there, Alex. I'm certain of it. Hidden in plain sight.
KRYCEK: You listen to me. If you're going to play games, the two of them, Mulder and Scully, they're going to beat me to it. CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: (on phone, surprised) Are you saying that Mulder and Scully are there looking for the UFO? KRYCEK: They're looking for a missing deputy.
CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: Well, they're looking for the right thing but in the wrong place.
KRYCEK: You sent me looking for a ship.
CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: Find the deputy. Find the ship.

MULDER: Scully... the floor. What do you see? The same thing as out on the road. You've seen it before.
SCULLY: Yeah. I have. We both have.
BILLY MILES: What is it?
SCULLY: It's a biological toxin emitted as a gas through the bloodstream.
BILLY MILES: From who?
SCULLY: From what is arguably an alien.
BILLY MILES: You okay?
SCULLY: Yeah.
BILLY MILES: You sure?
SCULLY: Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.

MULDER: Scully. You want some water?
RICHIE: What happened to her?
MULDER: Can you just get her some water?
SCULLY: I just... I just... I just hit the ground.
MULDER: Here, lie still.
SCULLY: Why is this happening to me?
MULDER: It's okay. It's okay.
SCULLY: What the hell's going on, Mulder?
MULDER: I don't know. But these aren't just random abductions, Scully. We've got to warn Billy Miles of that.
SCULLY: Warn him of what?
MULDER: These abductees aren't just systematically being taken. They're not coming back.

BILLY MILES: Dad?
DETECTIVE MILES: Billy... what are you doing?
BILLY MILES: You stay where you are.
DETECTIVE MILES: Billy, it's me.
BILLY MILES: I said, stay where you are!
DETECTIVE MILES: Damn it, Billy, listen to me.
BILLY MILES: No. I don't know who you are but you are not going to take me.
DETECTIVE MILES: I'm your father. Are you going to shoot your father?
BILLY MILES: If you're my father... then why won't you believe me?
DETECTIVE MILES: I believe you, Billy. I just want it all to go away. Give me the gun, son.
---
MULDER: Billy?
SCULLY: Billy?

SKINNER: Agent Mulder.
MULDER: What's our punishment this time? Thumbscrews or 40 lashes? Come on in, Walter. Sit a spell. This could be the last time you take a trip down to these offices.
SKINNER: You went to Oregon.
MULDER: Guilty as charged. And if they're coming down on you for that, then I'm sorry. I truly am.
SKINNER: Fortunately, they think that I make a contribution to the Bureau.
MULDER: Oh well yeah, stick to a budget they say your making a contribution, but push the limits of your profession, and they say you're out of control.
SKINNER: You could bring home a flying saucer and have an alien shake hands with the President … what it comes down to Agent Mulder is … they don't like you.
MULDER: Well, we didn't bring home a flying saucer … or an alien.
SKINNER: Yeah … so I've been told.
---
SKINNER: Agent Mulder! I think you should listen to him.
KRYCEK: You've got every reason to want to see me dead. But you've got to listen to me now. You have the singular opportunity.
MULDER: Here or you want to step outside.
MARITA COVARRUBIAS: Agent Mulder. CancerMan is dying. His last wish is to rebuild his Project, to have us revive the Conspiracy. It all begins in Oregon.
KRYCEK: The ship that collided with that Navy plane. It's in those woods.
MULDER: There's no ship in those woods.
KRYCEK: Yeah, it's there. Cloaked in an energy field. Great, mops up the evidence.
MULDER: Who?
KRYCEK: The Alien Bounty Hunter. Billy Miles. Teresa Hoese, her husband. He's eliminating proof of all the tests. We're asking ourselves, we're asking ourselves, "Where are they?" They're right there. They're right under our noses. I'm giving you the chance to change that, to hold the proof.
MULDER: Why me and why now
KRYCEK: I want to damn the soul of that Cigarette Smoking Son-of-a-Bitch.
SCULLY: Mulder?
---
FROHIKE: What's amazing is that even the military satellites don't see it.
LANGLEY: But J.P.L.'S Topex Poseidon shows it only as waveform data.
BYERS: And here it appears simply as a microburst of transmission error on the European Space Agency's ERS-2.
SKINNER: In other words?
FROHIKE: In other words, you'd never know it's a UFO.
BYERS: If you didn't know what you were looking at or looking for.
LANGLEY: No wonder we couldn't see them.
KRYCEK: Listen, it is not going to be there forever.
MARITA COVARRUBIAS: As we all stand here talking it's rebuilding itself.

SCULLY: Mulder, if any of this is true...
MULDER: If it is, or if it isn't I want you to forget about it, Scully.
SCULLY: (staring at him in disbelief) Forget about it?
MULDER: (firmly) You're not going back out there. I'm not going to let you go back out there.
SCULLY: What are you talking about?
MULDER: It has to end sometime. That time is now.
SCULLY: Mulder...
MULDER: Scully, you have to understand that they're taking abductees. You're an abductee. I'm not going to risk....losing you. SCULLY: I won't let you go alone.

SCULLY: This just can't be.
FROHIKE: What are you looking at?
SCULLY: Medical records-- Billy Miles and other known abductees in Bellefleur, Oregon. They all experienced anomalous brain activity.
BYERS: Electro-encephalitic trauma.
SCULLY: Which is exactly what Mulder experienced earlier this year.
LANGLEY: I don't understand.
SCULLY: There was something out there in that field. It knocked me back. Because it didn't want me. Mulder thinks that it's me that's in danger of being taken.
FROHIKE: When it's Mulder who's in danger.
SCULLY: Scully?

(SCULLY faints. The LONE GUNMEN catch her as she falls.)

GUNMEN: Scully! Whoa! You okay? Oh, gee.

SKINNER: Agent Mulder?!..... Mulder!.....Mulder! Mulder...

SKINNER: Mulder.

CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: We've failed, then. Perhaps you never meant to succeed. Anyway,the hour is at hand, I presume.
NURSE GRETA: What are you doing?
KRYCEK: Sending the Devil back to Hell.
CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN: As you do to Mulder and to me... you do to all of mankind, Alex.

SKINNER: Hi. How you feeling? SCULLY: I'm feeling fine. They're just running some tests on me.
SKINNER: Well... um...
SCULLY: I already heard.
SKINNER: (voice breaking) I lost him. I don't know what else I can say. I lost him. I'll be asked... what I saw. And what I saw, I can't deny. I won't.
SCULLY: We will find him. I have to.
SCULLY: Sir, um... there's something else I need to tell you. Something that I need for you to keep to yourself. I'm having a hard time explaining it. Or believing it. But, um... I'm pregnant.

All caps come from:

anniemarie75 site: X-Files: I still Believe

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Beautiful picspam. &hearts&hearts&hearts

Thanks so much :)

Ahhhhh that scene where Marita and Krycek shove CSM down the stairs. . .actually just every scene involving Marita and Krycek in this entire episode!

This picspam is gorgeous! This is a wonderful celebration of such an amazing episode.

Thank you so much!! I always liked the Marita and Krycek scenes too.

Requiem is not one of my favorite episodes, but this tribute has inspired me. I should give it another look.

(Posted without completing a sentence.)

Edited 2010-06-12 14:24 (UTC)

Requiem is a hard episode for so many people to watch. Even though I like it, it's hard to watch.

Wonderful, wonderful job. I especially liked the picspam - you really captured that episode.

Thanks :)

Love huge posts :D
And this episode *sigh* so sad! I think I'll always have a hard time watching it.

It's such a hard episode to watch. I don't think I'll ever stop yelling at Mulder to back away from the light.

Whoa, what an amazing picspam! I really like how you mixed B&W sections with colored ones (the coloring in the last part is so pretty, btw) ♥ Great job, hun!

Thanks so much!! The picspam took quite a while!!

Requiem: Wallpapers, Icons, Fic and Picspam

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