http://sharo-8760.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] sharo-8760.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] xf_is_love2011-06-29 01:37 am

Fic: Quests (A Musical Drabble Series) (PG-13, Mulder/Scully)

Title: Quests
Author: [livejournal.com profile] sharo_8760 
Pairing: Mulder/Scully
Rating: Maybe PG 13 for some strong words. 
Summary: Five little pieces of their lives. 
A/N: To tell you guys the truth, I hadn't read the rules that well. Which means my contribution project is kind of out of the theme. Or actually, you could link each drabble with pretty much any of the episodes... Anyways, on Sunday I was at a Foo Fighters concert and tried to get inspiration and then I thought, "hey, these guys are fans so I'll make little fics to their songs!". And I did. And after that I read that each contribution can only center on one episode... So since it's 1:30 am here and I've got work tomorrow, I edited as much as I could but not everything. I hope you'll forgive me (it's better to have even something than nothing at all, right? Ehm...). I know, one simple rule and I messed it up, but I hope you like it anyhow. Let's just say it's a slight AU before and after Je Souhaite - my version of it, at least.I have to say though, the first drabble is quite loose from the theme but it's my personal favorite. Oh, and if you want to read the fics with the appropriate music I created a YouTube playlist to accompany the reading. All is right there under the cut...




Playlist
If you want the music, I strongly recommend opening the playlist in another tab or something like that so the music videos won't distract you! And if you don't like the Foo Fighters, just skip the music. Thanks. Oh, and the videos should be in the same order as the fics.


Quests

1. At the End Of the Rope

He’d been waiting for quite some time for something to happen. He was losing his faith, and that had happened before, only that the earlier times had been different. He’d had someone to hold on to. Now he only had the blonde girls with big boobs on the video.

His days were filled with basically nothing. Mostly he just studied earlier cases, cases from back when the X files still had been even close to relevant, when J. Edgar himself had been involved. He didn’t have much new cases, and even if he did, they usually had nothing to do with the paranormal. Well, he wouldn’t have been allowed to investigate either way, since the new policy stated every agent must work in “pairs or groups of over three”. And no one would be Spooky Mulder’s pair. It was fucking kindergarten all over again.

Every once in a while, between trying to solve mysterious cases from the 1950’s, Mulder was asked to do profiles on random criminals. If he did them well, he was sometimes rewarded with a new case he was unable to do research on. His work sucked.

The thought of Samantha kept him going. Every day was further away from her, but it still felt like he was getting closer and closer to the answer. He felt he was making progress just by living his life, yet he was completely stuck.

***

The night club Mulder visited about once a month was packed as always. He was good at one night stands – a short series of failed long term relationships had suggested that. He really felt nothing and yet both he and the girls were satisfied and everyone just moved on with their lives. Sure he sometimes wished he has a girlfriend, but he had started to suspect he wasn’t quite the type to have a girlfriend. His bar was high anyways, he didn’t believe he could find another believer. Ironically.

***

The girl put on her dress again. As she left she blew a kiss to Mulder who grinned back. He was glad she was gone now. He could concentrate on something else now. Like watching a porn film.

He damn well knew he was doing everything wrong but he didn’t really care. He hoped by waiting things would change. Maybe they would. Something was holding him down but every day he was breaking loose – slowly and steadily, without acknowledging anything.

***
As soon as he saw Dana Scully she knew the change had come. She was like a breath of warm, fresh wind to the dungeon-like office. She was something he had searched for a while. She had no idea why she had been sent to be his partner but he definitely didn’t complain.



2. A Revolutionary Man

He isn't going to give up. How could he when so many questions remain and so many things are wrong? He will resist. He won't become like the others, those corrupted and ignorant agents who deny everything along with the government. No one seems to understand the people of the world need to know the truth. About everything. Although Mulder is mainly interested in the extraterrestrial, he's well aware paranormal phenomena are but one thing kept hidden.

Who the fuck do these people think they are? What gives them the right to mess up other people's lives? To control others? To Mulder it seems impossible to think there are only a few people who get to decide what happens in the world. And so many people work for them voluntarily.

It's important for Mulder to keep up the fight. He's driven by the need to declare the truth. That's what you'd think the Bureau is about but the truth couldn't be further away. Sometimes it seems Mulder is the only agent working for the Bureau for the right reasons - but then, who's to say what those reasons are anyway.

He's on a quest. It may have started with Samantha, but things have evolved and escalated into the unrecognizable, into a mess of spider's web and puzzle pieces that don't seem to fit each other. And every time a new piece is found the hope grows although nothing is ever certain. Usually Mulder feels like no progress is made, but it's those few moments of giant leaps that keeps him going.

Mulder has the world against him. Every now and then an unexpected ally appears, often only to be torn away from the conspiracy theories or even life too early - but only the feeling he's not fighting alone brings him comfort. And every time a helper of his has been eliminated from the game his belief grows stronger, he knows he's onto something. The devastation of loss, the need to start again from the beginning and the knowing of the truth's existence mix creating a yet stronger will to keep going. Every time they decide to act he knows his resistance is bothering them and that makes him a little bit satisfied, he knows he's inside their heads.

Mulder knows he couldn't do it alone, couldn't fight and resist them on his own. As long as I have a say in this, he doesn't have to. He's got me.



3. Password

It’s just another Tuesday at work. You came in early, looking beautiful as always. Today you’re wearing a black skirt and I’m not sure if it is for a special occasion or if you just felt like it. It doesn’t matter, though, what you’re wearing. You’re amazing. You wouldn’t even have to be beautiful, and you certainly don’t need even that small amount of make up. I wish there were good words for expressing that to you, but I don’t know any. I just have to hope you know how I feel.

We just got back from our afternoon coffee break. You’re looking at me right now. Wondering if I am writing a report of our earlier case or just typing in random words.

“Braxton case?” you ask, raising your brow.

I smile quickly and nod. “That’s the one.”

A small lie won’t hurt. If you knew what I’m really writing, you’d freak out. A simple look at the earlier pages would make you storm out of the room and never come back. I don’t want that.

Now you’re standing up. I’d better close this.

***

Sometimes I think of how complicated life is and yet so simple. All the things in my life, for example - it can’t be a coincidence all that has happened to one person. And on top of all the chaos, you came along. If you hadn’t shown, I don’t know how long I was going to keep on working here.

You’re standing up again, and taking your coat. You’re leaving early today, too, because you have somewhere to go. A doctor’s appointment or something like that. On the door you turn back to me.

“Mulder?”

“Yeah?” I quit typing and turn my eyes to meet hers in a manner that definitely says ‘you must have something important to tell me since you interrupted my working’.

“You know if you don’t want people reading your journal you shouldn’t tell them your password.” With that, and a teasing smile, she leaves the room.

I love her.



4. Breathe You In

And as he bends down to kiss her so, so slowly her heart starts beating faster and faster. It doesn’t matter right now whether or not they should be doing this. Nothing matters, because nothing has ever felt this good and probably never will again. For both of them, it’s more than just pleasure, it’s everything. They aren’t good at talking about their feelings to each other but they have found a way of communicating. They have everything to say and no words for saying anything and this is how they know their messages get through. It’s telepathy, it’s magic, it’s everything and nothing, so concrete and yet so absurd. Scientific words such as electricity and chemistry won’t even begin to cover it, but for once Scully doesn’t feel like she’s lost without her terminology.

Soon they’re on the bed. Everything is delicate and the pace is low, like a slow motion film. They don’t talk at all, the only noises are the sharp breaths the take every once in a while. They’ve both done it before, and still everything is new. It’s nothing like they have imagined – and they really have imagined it – because they had no idea anything could be like that. It is so real – he’s there, she’s there, they feel they have been living a lie all their lives. This is the truth he has been searching for; this is the truth they both believe in.

***

“Six years”, she said quietly.

“Six”, he confirmed.

They didn’t know what to do. They had acted, now it was the inevitable time to think. It seemed impossible. The moment was gone.

She got up and dressed up quickly. He watched her with sadness in his eyes. He watched her leave. He wished he could leave too, take her with him and just leave everything.



5. Shaping Horizons

“That’s sweet of you”, Scully said in response to Mulder’s declaration of his third wish. He just smiled.

“What would you have wished?” he asked, gazing at her.

“Well, every wish seemed to backfire – I don’t know.”

Mulder nodded. He knew many things he wouldn’t wish for; his empty, lonely days before she had came along were a constant reminder of how pointless life could be. He hadn’t felt that since they met.

“Let’s go somewhere”, he said, all of the sudden.

“Where? It’s the middle of the night”, Scully laughed.

“Friday night”, Mulder corrected. “Let’s go out. To a restaurant. Whatever you want.”

She couldn’t say she just wanted to stay in and be with him. They went out to eat sushi and parted as lonely and together as ever.

[identity profile] omg-wtf-yeah.livejournal.com 2011-06-30 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
Very nice. The last one has a nice, quiet pace to it - and I think their interaction is really cute. ♥

[identity profile] fullfathomsfive.livejournal.com 2011-07-01 10:00 am (UTC)(link)
Love it. You really capture Mulder here.

[identity profile] maybe-amanda.livejournal.com 2011-07-02 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
These are lovely - heartbreaking and sweet. Final line is a killer :(